Last night David texted me all the things this article said to say to make your Christian marriage more awesome. The results are as follows:
Don’t ever fucking try to tell me that white people aren’t targeted and discriminated against for the color of their skin. Don’t ever try to fucking say that ANYONE has never been discriminated against. If you want fucking justice, then ACT on that justice.
HI UM NOPE
This headline is the deformed offspring of lies, bad reporting, and a Getty Image from 2012 taken after a man was beaten by police at the Occupy Wall Street protests.
The article cites no sources and reads like a Facebook Aunt telling a story they heard from their son’s buddy Taylor, most likely because it’s a poorly-paraphrased version of this also false article that calls itself ”White Man Cold-Cocked By Vicious Ferguson Mob In Blatant Racist Attack.” Money quote from the article:
“Most recently, a man was simply standing outside of a St. Louis McDonald’s where he was surrounded by a group of black man who punched the man in the face for no reason whatsoever. Seemingly unprovoked, the group intentionally targeted this man for nothing more than his skin color in a backwards attempt at justice for Mike Brown.”
Ah, yes, the classic “for no reason whatsoever” immediately followed by “for nothing more than his skin color in a backwards attempt at justice for Mike Brown” trick. That old reporting chestnut.
Anyway. The tale of an entire mob attacking this man was
followed up by showing these tweets, where the story originated:
This is all from the same article, mind you. There’s a paragraph describing a mob of black men attacking this white guy, and then they show the actual source describing a single black man punching the guy in the face once. Also? The Knockout Game doesn’t exist.
So really, “Black Man Punches White Man In Face, Other Black Men Try To Apprehend Black Man Who Punched White Man In Face,” because Ferguson’s hero-to-asshole ratio is actually through the fucking roof.
Anyway. It sucks that the guy got punched a couple weeks ago, but if you’re going to lie about it, try being just so much better at lying.
Cracked shouldn’t be the “journalists” catching this kind of thing. If you read something that sounds outrageous but tickles that part of your brain that wants it to be true, there’s a good chance it’s made up specifically to do that tickling. Take twenty minutes to research it before sharing or you sound like an idiot.
mr-cappadocia said: So why does Cracked CONSTANTLY push Feminist propaganda so hard? And let's not bullshit ourselves. You do. Just yesterday you published five articles. Two specifically referenced either Feminism or Feminist backed statistics. Conversely whenever you cover anything related to the opposition you not only mislead about their views... you straight up fucking lie about them and people let you get away with it because you're a "humor magazine". So I'm wondering why you propagandize *so hard*. Why?
Because we’re true believers!
Let me take this moment to say how Cracked could have gone another direction 7 or 8 years ago, a more Maximy, Booby Gallery of the Day direction if not for the steadfast resistance of David Wong and Jack O’Brien. I barely acknowledge the side that opposes feminism, but Wong goes out of his way to understand people who are mad at feminists, and he writes about those views with more sensitivity and understanding that I could ever muster.
To sum up: We don’t have an explicit agenda but if one comes across, It’s not one I’m ashamed of.
Kristi is a liar. I remember the meeting where the Cracked brain trust sat down and was like “From now on let’s occasionally post articles that either directly or conspiratorially tangentially support equal rights for women so we can accomplish our ultimate end goal: Hack into the penis of every man and make it a smaller penis, or a penis that is otherwise laughable for a different reason upon which we all agree. It almost sounds TOO easy,” Jack said, as he (via the mainframe) hacked a young Robert Brockway’s penis. “I think my wife deserves my respect,” the now-neutered Brockway yelped.
It is weird that we do it so constantly, when everybody knows that people only deserve equal rights and treatment between the hours of4 and 7 pm on alternate February the 29ths. At first we worried that we couldn’t cover it all with our current propaganda budget, but we were able to transfer some funding to supporting feminism from our “Don’t be an asshole” budget because it turns out they overlap completely.
Look, I get it buddy. You’re pissed off because you’ve tried to be a good person your whole life and still you feel like you’ve been consistently stripped of the things you thought were guaranteed , and now there is a whole organized movement saying you still have too much, that you, just trying to live your life, is an affront to an entire gender. That’s a shitty feeling, but here’s the thing: no one is actually trying to take anything from you. That sickening feeling you have that your being robbed of basic human rights, there are people around you in your life who are feeling a worse version of that everyday. If you don’t believe me, look at any of the secret camera videos women have taken on the street to catch the verbal abuse they suffer, listen to any of the stories of guys who touch women on crowded trains and then smile at them as they leave because they know there’s nothing she can do about it, read any of the millions of accounts from human beings about the exhausting and demoralizing abuse they put up with every day. And you might not be the guy making them feel that way, I hope you’re not, but holy shit, you can actually help. You can help other people instead of standing in their way because it feels like another inconvenience. Finally, even if the absolute worse case scenario is true: this is one big conspiracy, Cracked and feminists and a huge chunk of the Internet are villainizing men unfairly and creating a culture where you’re no longer allowed to even voice your opinions without people getting angry- even if all of that is true- isn’t that worth preventing an inarguably high percentage of sexual abuse and dangerous objectification of your daughter/ your sister/ your wife?
Not all the stabs at equality will be smart, or entirely on point or even helpful. This form of feminism is new, chillingly new for how long this shit has been going on, and not everyone is good at it yet, but holy shit, friend, how can you argue against the aim of basic respect for another human being?
Soren’s “empathy for you” is a false flag assault on your scrote size and don’t let anybody tell you different.
So I went to see The Boxtrolls today having been very excited about all of the publicity, the general theme of the film, and all of the posters I saw of what appeared to be same gender families.
I left the cinema in tears because of it. It’s very transmisogynist. I do not advise anyone, especially trans women, to see this film. I’ll explain why below.
TW FOR THE CONTENT BELOW. It contains spoilers and descriptions of transmisogyny.
Friends, let me tell you about Rebecca Gomperts.
Rebecca Gomperts is a sea captain, a certified physician, and the founder of Women on Waves, a Dutch pro-choice non-profit organization that brings reproductive health services to women in countries with restrictive abortion laws.
This is how it works:
- Rebecca Gomperts and her team installed a specially constructed mobile clinic aboard a commissioned ship.
- They sail to countries with restrictive abortion laws, answering phone calls and e-mails from women who need another way out.
- Upon landing, they take the women who come to them aboard the ship, and then they take the ship out into international waters.
- There the laws of the flag ship are in effect.
- They then perform non-surgical medical abortions, while walking the women through the process.
- They sail back to shore, and once they depart, they continue to follow up with their patients to ensure they remain healthy and safe.
In response, Rebecca Gomperts and her team have been:
- hit by eggs thrown by physically violent pro-life activists
- met with resistance by government officials of the countries they visit
- been forced to disguise themselves and their patients to save the women who come to them any public shaming (which the media helps to perpetuate)
- and once, harassed by two war ships sent out by the Portuguese military
And yet they continue to answer the calls and e-mails of women who want their help, providing reproductive counseling and teaching them how to circumvent the dangerous laws of their country when necessary.
Director Diana Whitten is telling their story in her documentary, VESSEL. It’s a beautiful doc, a necessary doc, and the film is premiering this week at SXSW. Please show your support for these women on social media. It’s so incredibly important.
If you’re in need of reproductive counseling or an abortion service, you can find Women on Wave’s international support and informational collective on Women on Web.
These people are heroes. Rebecca Gomperts is a hero. What they do has and will save countless lives. It’s so incredibly important that their story is told and the struggles of women living in countries governed by restrictive abortion laws (including the United States) are brought to light.
Come for that dress. Stay for the bad-ass feminism.
Bonus Misandries: Pale face make-up (getting into “Vampira”/”Hot Topic" territory). And my top is hi-low. And my skirt is purple tiger stripes. And my shoes are flat. I am seriously bringing the man-hate today. Which is hilarious because I know my partner is going to see this very 90’s look and be super, super happy that I’m coming over tonight.
Total Misandries: 5
Everything about this is wonderful.